Talking To Strangers

Still Standing Tall !

2008-03-07T10:11:00.000-08:00

A video clip in solidarity with Iranian women ! Yes Still Standing Tall !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXZhv9B5HbU

Female Circumcision

2007-10-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

While ago I was reading an article about an eleven years old girl called Boudor Ahmad from Egypt who died when having her gentile cut ! Her death promoted the Egyptian government to out-law (2007) the custom of purification which is so widespread all across the country. Reading the first part of the article I had a mix feeling but then my mood changed completely when I started reading quotes covering young girl's reactions to the law:

"If a girl is not purified ,she will just go and hook up with men.This protects women's honor"

"No one can get married with out it"

"Those who says it does not happen are lying.There is not one person here not circumcised and it will continue"

"Gentile cutting is a necessity"

I put the article aside and thought , It is about legislation but also it is not about legislation . "No" actually It is about how change can happen ? And we have still a long way to go !

Women & Developed World

2007-07-03T12:32:00.000-07:00

"A Woman must have an income and a room of her own in order to have a freedom to creat" Virgina Wolf

Women & Developed world

2007-06-19T14:12:00.000-07:00

Long time has not written a line! I am not sure form where to start! Shall I talk to you about Banda Aceh, Tsunami and great women and men whom I talked with? Or shall I write about my frustration in the world of development? All I can say is that I was lost! I was tired! I was angry! I was sad!

But now here I am sitting in the Vancouver Public Library and wondering form where I should start again! Lately I am thinking a lot about talking to strangers, I am thinking about a woman in the bus, I am thinking about a woman who I meet every morning in the elevator, I am thinking about women who are sleeping in the street of Vancouver (East Hasting).And I am thinking about a woman who wrote that book.

We met each other in her book. She is feeling bad about her neck and she hates having a purse! She has thousands of wrinkles creams! And she has no idea what will happen to sex after liberation! In her sex fantasy no one loves her for her mind and she warns us of men who cries!

She reminds me of the slogan "personal is political" when she said “Don’t underestimate how much antagonism there is toward women and how many people wish we could turn the clock back. One of the things people always say to you if you get upset is, don't take it personally, but listen hard to what's going on and, please, I beg you, take it personally”.

Then I asked her can we have it all? I want to have it all ! That is why I am here today! Living in a developed country!

“To be perfectly honest, you can't have it all, but in case you are wondering, of course you can have it all. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don't be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I've had four careers and three husbands’.

Then I laughed and she laughed! She smiled and said: “Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of those troubles on behalf of women”.

Nora Ephron was talking with me about “Another thought on being a woman” in her recent book, I feel bad about my neck!

Women of Development-Part two

2006-01-12T07:09:00.000-08:00

We hardly knew each other, We hardly ever talked, or if we did, it was all about bills and payments. But then it happened, We talked........

You are leaving Cambodia soon? She pointed out to the pictures on the fridge and asked, What about your partner?

Then I talked to her about my dreams, my worries and my concerns and my life. And I told her I want to have it all.

She smiled and said , I always knew it , I told to my daughter long time ago,,, She is not a Feminist, how she can be a Feminist, she does not look like a Feminist ,,, You see I was right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I did not know what I should say, afterward some how I managed just to listen,,, She talked and she talked about her story, she talked about her struggle with social stigmas, she talked about the rules and breaking of those rules, she talked about frustration and anger... She said:

I am a widow, I have two teenage daughters but I have a boy friend ,,, She paused ,,, She looked at my eyes, I wanted to live for my self so I decided to ignore all what people are saying about me ,,, I do not regret my choice......this is my life .

I think I have it all.

Then I said, I did not know that You are a Feminist. She puzzled and looked at me, What??? I said, I think Feminism means being yourself and living your own life... You are a Feminist.

She smiled and we looked at each others eyes. We had something in common despite all our differences ... We both defend our dreams.

Daughters of Development , Sea -Part one

2005-11-24T08:02:00.000-08:00

Wow you know how to do threading ? Yes we do

Where did you learn and from whom ? At the beach , I looked at the hands of Vietnamese women and I learned how to do it. Big Smile

Do you want to try ? It is not painful ............ Yes I would love to do it .

What is your name ? My name is Sea and My name is Lily !!!

I chose my name myself , me too .... I love the sea so I decided to name myself Sea. Now Sea is my name . Do you like it ? What is your name ?

This was our first chat at Serendipity Beach in Sihanouk Vill . 30 minutes later Sea and Lily finished the threading and left me with a red face and a puzzled mind in a bamboo chair. Then I wondered , Why this chair suddenly feels so uncomfortable !!!

And the next day , We met again and We talked and We talked ...Strangers talked to Strangers ....

My name is Sea.

I am 15 years old and have two brothers and one sister.

I am selling stuff and do threading at Serendipity beach 7 days a week , ? Hours a day.

I speak English very well. "I talk to you I learn"

I study English every day from 5:30-7 :30 in the afternoon.

I know how to work with computer and I have my own yahoo email address.

I left school after the fourth grade and I hope one day I will go back .

I have a dream to be a tour guide.

"My mom and dad got divorced five years ago and it was by then that we moved to live in SihanoukVill .He was always drunk and beat my mom and one day he beat her and he also burnt our house. It was the end ".

She paused "No problem , I worked hard and from my money we bought the land , now I need money to build our house , then maybe later I can go back to school".

What about your brothers?

One got married and has his own life and the other one is 12 years old . He goes to school.

How come that he has time to go to school and he can but you can not ?

My mom said my place is in the kitchen but my brother has to earn money , so he must go to school. You know he is not even good at school . ..

What do you think , Sea?

Yes I think she is right , If I get married , I can stay and work in the kitchen but my brother can not stay in the kitchen ...

Sea, you are not in the kitchen now? Are you ? No

Who is the bread-winner of your family ? It is me

Sea, Imagine you have a daughter what do you want for her ?

I do not let her to stay in the kitchen , she should go to school.

Listen I would like to get married one day , maybe when I am 25 years old ..... Why 25 years old ?

Because still I want to go out a lot , I want to go out with my friends to have drinks , Soft drinks and have fun ... I mean go out to eat or dance .

If I get married I can not go out with my friends for dancing or having drinks , again Soft drinks (Fanta).

Sea What are your big dreams ?

I want to be a tour guide .

I want to have cows .

I want to have a house and family.

I want to travel around the world.

I want to travel to Siem Reap to sea Angkor Watt.

Sea Have you ever heard of the word of "development"?

What , we translated it into Khmer ,,,, No I never heard of it . Nodding her head

Then I wondered again and again ?? Is Sea and her dreams included in Millennium Development Goal's targets ? If yes , the question is who is responsible to make those dreams possible ?

Continues....

They have chosen the path of equality

2005-11-23T19:39:00.000-08:00

" I face many challenges in my daily work, and sometimes those challenges bring tears in my eyes , but I am still the commune chief of Sak Sampoau commune"

"If men were the only commune councillors, women would not dare to speak out about their needs and interests. But if there are more women in commune council, then it will be possible for us to participate in all commune development activities and to raise women's issues."

"To celebrate and recognize women's active participation in local politics in Cambodia, the committee to Promote Women's Political Participation organized a photo exhibition with the name of "women in leadership" in September 2005 . Photographs are in black and white to capture viewers' attention and to better highlight the power of the subject themselves.

The photographs of female commune councillors were taken from August to September 2005 in Kandal, Kampong Chhnang, Pursat, Kampon Cham provinces, in Phnom Penh and at a female councillor forum in Kampong Cham. The photographs were taken by a freelance photographer , Setareh Masom . "

Ref : Final Report , November 2005 ,committee to promote women's political participation, 2nd consultative forum on women's political participation and its effectiveness at commune council/Sangkat in Cambodia .

P.S The copy rights of the pictures are reserved for " the committee to promote women's political participation" . This committee formed in August 2005 by the efforts of 8 cambodian NGOs either active in the field of Gender or Decentralization with the mission to promote women and men's equal political participation.

Women of Development -Part one

2005-11-16T19:26:00.000-08:00

To phirak for her calmness , patience and beautiful smile

What does gender and development means to her ?

Her name was Phirak , me and Phirak sat in one office together for almost 14 months. There was only a small rattan wall between my table and her table ! She ignored it and I did the same .

I disturbed her many times by carrying my wild middle eastern heritages and loud voice into the office and she always laughed at me.

We started our relashionship by saying hello Madam, good morning , Choomribso , Akhun Cheran , Do you have a boy friend ? Can I see his picture ? Are you getting married with him? How many brothers and sisters do you have ? Are they married ? Can you show me in the map where is your country?

And then I asked what about you ? Do you have a boy friend Phirak ?? Silence and smile , NOOOOOO , ? How old are you ? I am 24 years old , my brother did go to university , Why you did not go to the university ? Laugh .....I do not know

And this flirtation ended us to talk about what gender and development means to her ?

It is the name of the organization that I am working with ??? Why you ask this question , I do not understand !!!

What I know is that after I started working in Gender and Development for Cambodia , my life is much better , I earn more and I get more respect from my family . To me this means development.

Gender and Development ?? Pause and Laugh , She said we can talk about it later or you can talk with Sopheap , she knows about these things better than me.

Then I understood that the meaning of development is more complicated that can be explained in few minutes. Then I understood also that the meaning of gender and development is even much more complicated.

Then I thought Why I am asking these questions ? What Do I like to hear from her ? Am I also become part of that paradigm "excluding differences by imposing samness" ?

Talking To Strangers

A loser Dog !!

2005-11-16T05:25:00.000-08:00

The phrase--describing women who chose careers over marriage and now, still single in their 30s ..........

Which category I , you , she , we do or does belong ? Loser Dog or Winner Dog ???

This phrase of "a loser dog no longer" reflected in media in a wide scale for the last few days to report the royal wedding of Princess Norinomiya in Japan. She quit her job after getting engaged. She will become a stay-at-home wife.http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0511140147nov14,1,6967474.story?coll=chi-newsnationworld-hed

I read the story in The Cambodia Daily but while I was looking for the link in the web , I found the phrase almost spread every where !!!!!!!!

Congratulation to princess Norinomiya and Condolences to me, you, she and all women and men who do fight against labels and social stigmas.

Talking To Strangers

Talking To Strangers

2005-11-16T03:50:00.000-08:00

Hi strangers , Today is the second day of celebration of water festival in Phnom Penh , Cambodia .

Did I go to watch the boat racing along Mekong River in front of Royal palace ?? Or did I lock myself in my small flat No 12 , street 352 , Beoung Keng Kang I ?

Yes I took the second option and I did lock my self for the last 48 hours in my flat !!

Achievements :

Eating disorder, reading books , messing the house and finally giving birth to Talking To strangers ... Was it painful ? Was it joyful? I do not know ... I assume it was a mixture of both ....

But my baby girl thought it is the time to be brave and say hi to the world , she thought it is the time to share her stories and it is the time to take out from my womb and talk again to strangers ....

Why strangers ? Is n't it the case that moms normally say to their kids "do not talk to strangers ?"

Yes Indeed , But I must say my story is a different experience !

The strangers around me were the ones who gave me the courage and passion to move on , the strangers around me were the ones who thought me to laugh and laugh , the strangers around me were the ones who gave me the stamp of temporary visa to stay and work in their homeland where I did need it badly, the strangers around me were the ones who thought me the word of Moy Moy (be patient) , the strangers around me were the ones that I could cry with and rely on and the strangers around me were the ones who accepted me to be part of their activism for gender equality despite of all our differences.

The strangers around me were mostly these amazing Cambodiam women whom I learned from so much. They are not any more strangers , they are my friends .